Headlines we don't want to see

Does this one even need explaining?

1. Pope Kanye West III put on fast track to sainthood

2. Walmart plans to sell proton colliders 

3. Oil found directly underneath Mecca 

4. Canada continues nuclear stand off with US

5. Kevin bacon to star in Cars 3 

6. Progress in the German/Ethiopian border crises 

7. Kim Jong Un given reality t.v. Show

8. Britain declares war on eggplant 

9. Alec Baldwin slight favorite for upcoming brawl with Charlie sheen

10. "YOLO" predicted to no longer be a "thing" by the year 2750 

And finally one we do want to see.....

11. Justin Beiber banished to Siberia!