Thursday, July 24, 2014

Search: restaurants in the boston area

Oh, sorry. It's Grammy Erma here again, trying to figure out how to use "google". In any event I'm very happy to say hello to my cyber-buddies again. Well in case you don't remember, last we spoke I had "hacked" in to Bloggers "mainframe", accidentally posting on this blog. I also found a variety of credit card numbers, and top secret email addresses.  Now, I am considered the best hacker of my time, but I still wasn't able to figure out how to make a Facebook account. Now, I am being harbored in Russia for a multitude of crimes against the US government. The worst part is, for fear of being persecuted for treason, my grandson is no longer able to help me on my path to understanding the web. Which is why I'm here.  Go figure.   Well now I need to go, I'm being called away for a video chat with the Secretary of State. I just hope I don't need to set it up myself.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Introduction to the Church of the Enlightened Deity

Hello there! My name is reverend/imperial wizard Jim Roberts, and I'm here to talk about my life calling, the Church of the Enlightened Deity. My religion has been accused of being a "brain washing  cult" and having a "ridiculous backstory", but I'm here to prove the skeptics wrong. We are a group of intelligent and well rounded individuals who have found faith in our "enlightened deity". Together we have led charities to help the local poor community,  and led groups that help clean up our nieghbor hood. We believe our known universe is controlled by one being: this overlord has many names, but in human english she is referred to as Toto. Her earthly form is pictured below:


Now, this is where many people start to wonder, "you think a dog controls the world?", but I will be the first to tell you that our infinite goddess is anything but a dog. She holds all the knowledge imaginable to the human race. She has protected our sector of the cosmos in all seven Grytog wars.  And most importantly, she is our creator.  Her avatar currently exists in the northeast, and her "owners" unfortunately do not except her all powerful nature. With her red hot laser eyes, she could destroy our domain in approximately .0000000455 milliseconds. After death, you will become aware of her power, but if you did not acknowledge her in your living days, you shall be punished justly. So don't  wait! Send fifty dollars to  45 brigfield avenue, Shroudslyn, Mississippi. Come judgement day, you'll be glad you did!

Monday, July 14, 2014

7 signs corporations have gone too far

Pretty much everything we do nowadays is in some form dictated by corporations. So now, you are left with two options: buy a gun and take out those greedy CEOs yourself, or suppress your anger and read a semi-funny listicle.

1. Walmart officially replaces the us government

2. It gets to a point where "Netflix" and "life support" are to 100% synonymous. Remember future society, if the doctors ever suggest pulling grandmas Netflix  subscription, even if she's been brain dead for the last 3 months without any signs of improvement, you fight them to the last breath.

3. When Macdonalds is growing faster than the human race. The population, I mean. Not the width. That would be a paradox

4. eBay starts selling food, money, body parts, wives/husbands, and slaves.

5. When "followers" dictate wether our adolescent population lives or dies. Oh, and a mean girls death panel. There are death panels in that movie, right? I haven't seen it, so I'm just assuming.

6. *

7. The term "apple" is rarely thought of as the fruit, but as a company that basically takes stuff from Star Trek, and then sells it to you. In addition, all fruit available in the US is sold to people to people through


* this is where I would say something about google, but I don't think I'm allowed to do that. Well, maybe if this was on Wordpress I could.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Is this working?


By erma macintire

Is this thing on? I still don't understand why my grandson won't let me type this on my type writer, I guess it's because it doesn't have cable or H.D. or something... Well anyway you might be excited to know that this Grammy erma's first time on the inter web,or X-box or something. I'm still getting the hang of it, so I have no idea if this post will go through or not. If it doesn't i really don't care, I just want to be able to book cruises using the computator, or microwave, or something. But my grandson left me with this computer and I somehow found my way here. Wait, here he comes. 

Now I'm being reprimanded beacause I "hacked" into one of googles "mainframes", and its " highly illegal" and that "this blog isn't even funny". All well, I knew computers weren't for me. Well, maybe I will do this again, but until that day, See you on the blogosphere, or Netflix, or something.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Postcards from Kim Jong Un to American Press

Translated: traditional Korean formatted into modern English.

June 2nd:
Having tons of fun in Fiji!!!! My wife Ri Sol-ju and I have been enjoying the beach very much indeed. The sand is as white as marble, and as soft as silk, and the sunset lighting is ideal for the drone and missile training operations!

July 4th:
Hi again!!! We're in Tonga!!! It is beautiful here as well, though extremely quiet. Everything is quite tempered down today, as this day holds no global significance that I know of.

July 16th:
Bonjour from Tahiti, in French Polynesia!! After staying in Tonga the villagers lent* us some of their people to be servants as a gift. Played a little B-Ball here at the courts, showing off some moves. People need to learn its not about the dog in the fight, its about how much you threaten the referee at gunpoint!
August 1st: Heading  to American Samoa which I hear is a very nice... uh oh.



*Note from TPF(Tongan Police Force) Maui Houwi, a village elder was held at gunpoint and forced to give his six daughters away as slaves to the Korean government on July 16th, 2014