Some obituaries

What's funnier than literary buffs? Death of course! This is like 1000 ways to die, exept instead of 1000, there are two, for now.

Daniel Jacobs, 51
Daniel has been fighting MS for five years now. When he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer six months ago, his family nearly gave up hope. But not Daniel. He finally made it to the top of the list for a liver donation, and swore never to drink again. The seemingly deadly heart attack turned out to be less than doctors thought. And through painful months of chemo therapy, away went the cancer. On his way out of the hospital, our hero did not see a long narrow starway, and was crushed by his wheelchair. Donations may be made to The Wheelchair ramp Awareness fund.

Craig Wilson,  42
Craig was often thought of as the clutz of  Jonson & Jonson accounting firm. But when he scored the winning touchdown during the flag football game at the office family picknick, his whole team celebrated! Alas, coworker David Barnes, in attempt to give Craig an encouraging pat on the back, pushed down the newfound star in the hieght of his glory, causing him to snap his neck. Barnes is being charged with manslaughter.